My Upgraded Evening Practice

Do you remember the last time you went to sleep like a feather? Slowly drifting away before your head hits the pillow.

This blog is about ways to sleep smarter by tweaking our practice and adding more flow instead of a boring routine.

In 2015, I experienced an anxiety attack which was ignored by medical doctors who ran test after test to tell me - "nothing is wrong with you; maybe it's mental." The nerves of this broken system. My lesson that day was to take radical self-care because I'm only in control of myself.

And a book came along that changed my sleep & health for the better

"Sleep Smarter: 21 strategies to sleep my way to a better body, better health, and bigger success," by Shawn Stevenson. The timing was perfect because this was my guide in the launch of my company, YSuperstars.

The book sparked my entrepreneurship journey.

The approach I took was radical and took self-discipline that I am grateful to have learned. This blog is about my upgraded way of finding flow in the strategies that match my lifestyle and personality. If you want to create an evening ritual, let me know in the comments below, and I'll write a blog about a beginner guide.

So if you already have a routine, let's get our pen & paper out!

Let me start by reminding us that repetition is the mother of learning. You may already have a routine or ritual since you do certain activities most evenings. Practice and repetition can help you identify your unique flow. You're going to have off days, especially now during the holidays; it's the beauty of life with valleys in our journey, and I'm so grateful we met today in the

Narrow road path you're choosing for your FLOW.

We want something different; we get to do something different. Let us start with a few deep breaths before we take out our magic wand (pens) and favorite journal or napkin. Any tree product counts.

The first prompt journal question I asked myself was, what habit had made the most significant difference in my sleep? My answer was my screen curfew, which means turning off my phone on silent and charging it in another room for the night. I can have my room super dark and cold with the coziest comforter and still interrupt my sleep with blue lights.

Blue lights activate my cortisol levels high.

The sweet block for us to rest and restore our bodies is when our cortisol is down. If you're a super active learner like me and you're often on the go, this is something to protect and set boundaries for us. To avoid being a radical with this boundary of rest, I'm starting a new evening affirmation - "I get to set my body to rest."

Prompt question # 1 - What can be your affirmation for winding down?

As you know, words are powerful and influence the imagery we create and, therefore, our feelings. I can also write, "I get to charge my body." You get to be creative in your affirmation. Please note it in the comments below.

Think about it this way, mother earth gets to rest too, and our bodies deserve the same. Sunset helps me so much during the summer because it sets around 8:30 pm, and I'm in bed by 9:30 pm. Therefore I get to set my cell phone off as the sun sets. As I write this blog, winter is more challenging because the sun sets around 5:30 pm here in Orlando and 4:30 pm in NYC. So one of my new practice and affirmation is the following:

I get to read more books at night.

Another practice I'm applying is cooking at sunset to set my evening to a greater start. I get to play my favorite Netflix shows or listen to Spotify. In other words, get all my blue lights out of my system before 8 pm. There are many evenings when Jimmy is away, which is perfect since he's a night owl and loves to watch evening shows. I am more confident now that setting stronger boundaries with your spouse is essential.

And you and your partner get to adjust accordingly.

I love watching movies at night during the weekend and holidays with Jimmy, and he appreciates that. And even though Jimmy is a night owl, I know he's a lover of books and me. In his book Sleep Smarter, Shawn Stevenson talks about the benefits of orgasms before bed. Private alone sexy time (that's what we call it) is a magical way to avoid any screen time and embrace the evening.

As I mentioned, Jimmy is a reader, and especially around the holidays, reading by the Christmas tree brings greater joy to him than binge-watching Netflix series. Talk to your partner, ask what relaxes them, and get creative. As I mentioned at the beginning of this blog, this is NOT a rule.

This blog is a guideline to better flow. 

And again, the flow comes from practice, which means repetition. You get to choose activities that bring you joy. Two months ago, cooking was far from joy. When Jimmy is away (he's our home chef), I get to set myself up to win and add music I love, like some Frank Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald, while I cook. I do this to tap into what I enjoy, which is music.

Prompt question # 2 - What activity brings you joy?

Doing things because "I have to" adds pressure and becomes a chore rather than practice. So, choose one activity that prompts your evening to settle down. As mentioned above, the sunset and music inspire me, and joy sets a solid long-term foundation.

I love record albums, and this blog has inspired me to buy one for my Orlando residence. I want to be able to turn off my wi-fi late into the night and feel as if I'm in the 1940s, and I have an obsession with that era. Are any fans of The Crown or Downton Abbey?

"What is a weekend?" Dowager Countess of Grantham

In these two shows, leisure was expected daily, and why the heck not? What stops us from the sweet moments in our lifestyle that can bring us joy? I also noticed that blue light screens were nonexistent, and it was cozy soft yellow lighting from lamps and candles.

Lastly, I want to emphasize to myself and you that life is full of valleys. I travel often, and the reality is that some nights are in a packed airport, rude Uber drivers and late nights are full of blue screens everywhere. Oh, and did I mention days or weeks we have family members that may not respect our practices?

Prompt question # 3 - How can we be proactive about off days?

I'm learning to let go of a ritual or routine. Therefore, some nights will flat-out suck, and I get to move on with backup affirmations like "Tomorrow can be a better night." Tomorrow is a new day, and not everyone will understand or like what we like. This blog invites you to reflect on what is essential and how to be proactive about your rest.

As always, let me know what you like, mainly some answers to the prompt questions. Please share this with a friend that can benefit from it.

Love,

Me.